Camoflaged Boobies

My husband just sent me an article that made my nipples stand at attention… and perhaps they lactated a few tears of pride.

Again, it all started with a picture.  Is it just me, or are these recent breastfeeding photos causing a lot of ruckus?  As was the case with the TIME Magazine cover, I like the controversy.

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/30/11955844-military-mom-proud-of-breast-feeding-in-uniform-despite-criticism?lite

In a nutshell, some women on a military base are coming under figurative fire for breastfeeding in public in their military uniforms.  I could go in a thousand different directions with this one, but instead I would like to only point out two things I noticed in this article:

1)      "A lot of people are saying it's a disgrace to the uniform. They're comparing it to urinating and defecating [while in uniform]."  It seems like such a waste of time that every time soldiers need to poop or pee, they must remove their uniforms!  I remember in the movie Saving Private Ryan when that soldier had to pee, so he took off all his clothes and peed in an alley, but before he could get his uniform back on he was shot and killed.  Luckily he didn’t disgrace the uniform, though.

Guys, I am really not good at being sarcastic, but I feel like this concept warrants an ugly tone.  No, that Saving Private Ryan thing I just said never happened in the movie, and the reason it didn’t is because it’s just ludicrous.  Soldiers do urinate and defecate while in uniform, and it is likely that there are many situations where they have no choice but to do it in public!  Now, if they are being inappropriate in how they are behaving while they are performing normal bodily functions, that is another matter to be discussed.  I highly doubt the nursing mothers are trying to be inappropriate while breastfeeding (which is a normal bodily function, mind you).  Anyone who has breastfed knows that multi-tasking in an inappropriate way while breastfeeding is difficult and unlikely.

2)      “We are warfighting professionals. Women before us have worked too hard to earn and retain the respect of their male peers. I don’t want my Marines to look at me any other way than as a Marine.”  First of all, what happened to your motherly instinct?  That’s wonderful and much appreciated that you are a “war-fighting professional”, but why does that professional title mean that is it expected that you suppress the first and most basic natural instinct of a mother, which is to feed your child, and turn it into something that needs to be made more difficult and inconvenient and done in the shadows, out of fear of what SHALLOW MEN will think of you?  I am not a feminist, but I am a realist.  Lady, you seem to be worried about the opinions of the wrong men, and if that’s the case, I seriously question your ability to make adequate decisions in combat.  Have you considered that?  Have you considered that now you not only have many women giving you the stink-eye, but also the men who are actually respectful of women for who they are and not for their ability to become like Ken-Doll-crotched men?  I’m guessing no.

All that to say, my question of the day is this:  What uniform do you believe is ‘too sacred’ to be worn while breastfeeding? And why?

If anyone says the Hooters tank top, I’ll sic that war-fighting professional lady on ya.  I’m sure she’ll gladly take you down.

Signing off.

BKB

McDoubtful's Nuggets of Information

You are probably bored with all my talk about McDonald's after yesterday's post.  I think my mind being focused on McDonald's is a side-effect of eating the spur-of-the-moment 6 piece chicken nuggets on Saturday.  I have no regrets about eating the nuggets, but I am seeing a pattern to my behavior which I believe is nugget-related.

I was surprised to receive a prompt response from McDonald's regarding an inquiry I sent yesterday asking about the breastfeeding policy for mothers who need to pump:

Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald's. We truly appreciate customer feedback and welcome the opportunity to share some information with you.

Approximately 85 percent of McDonald's restaurants are owned and operated by independent businesspeople. As independent owners, McDonald's franchise owners have the authority to make certain operating decisions as they relate to their McDonald's restaurant operations.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald's. We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again soon under the Golden Arches.

Sara
McDonald's Customer Response Center

I don't know about you, but I thought something was missing... Then I realized that the missing piece was an answer to my question!  That is, Sara obviously forgot to answer my question!  I realize that this is McDonald's defense-mechanism and that the best policy for sensitive inquiries such as this is to give the most generic, automated response possible and move on.  Perhaps she shouldn't have mentioned that 85% of McDonald's restaurant owners are part of a franchise, because that means 15% of the restaurants are managed corporately (in which case, she should have had an answer to supply me).  Let's just do a little calculating based on the numbers we do know:  As of July 2010 there were an estimated 14,000 McDonald's restaurants in the United States. That means approximately 2,100 stores are managed corporately.  Assuming the restaurants are distributed evenly among the states, that is approximately 42 restaurants per state.  If each restaurant only employs 15 people, that is still a minimum of 630 people employed at McDonald's per state. I think it would be safe to assume that at least 10% of McDonald's employees are in their prime childbearing years (that means the remainder of the employees would need to be either male, or they would be women under 20 years old or over age 35), so that would be a minimum of 63 people per state, or 3150 nationally, who would benefit from having a "nursing room" provided by the McDonald's headquarters.  Remember:  Those numbers don't include 85% of McDonald's restaurants which are part of a franchise. 

I am being very conservative with these estimations. 

So what are the 21,000 women of childbearing age who work at McDonald's doing if they need to pump expressed breast milk at work?  Multiply this number across all fast food chains... no, across all businesses!  Do you even realize the numbers we are talking about or how important this is?  What would you do if there was no restroom at work?! 

So, my actual question is:  Why do you believe that designating a private room for nursing mothers at their jobs hasn't been made a priority in the United States?

***Note to McDonald's:  I am not lashing out at you (I happily enjoy your coffee, ice cream, and chicken nuggets as an occasional treat to myself!), but your numbers are just easily accessible and make a good example for my point.  No hard feelings?

Signing off.

BkB

Parking Lot Pumper

I just returned from my lunch break, which I spent hooked to a Medela breast pump in the front seat of my running car.  Why, you ask, didn’t I just use the Mothers’ Room that my employer has so graciously provided to me?  Because my power cord is MIA somewhere within a 20 mile radius, and I my boobs can’t wait on the results of the search party, so for the day I have to resort to Plan B: the car adapter. 

I really don’t mind pumping in the car.  Aside from cringing away from the man who has walked by my car 5 times on his heart-healthy lunch break, the accommodations are really quite comfortable:  leather seats, air conditioning, music, a cup holder with a cool drink at my fingertips.  What more could a lactating mother ask for? 

Well… since I mentioned it, how about accommodations half that luxurious for ALL lactating mothers?  I got to thinking about it, and it made me wonder what women who work at, say for example, McDonald’s do in a situation like this.  First of all, does  McDonald’s even have a nursing room?  And if they don’t, what do the mothers do who need to pump on their breaks during their shift? Do they have to go to their cars as well?  Where is the milk stored after they pump?  Hopefully they don’t have to leave it in the car until they leave for the day.  It just doesn’t seem like a good idea, if you ask me. 

My point is that I’m getting the feeling that breastfeeding “rights” may be made a priority more for women who work for white collar companies, as opposed to companies where the employees receive minimum wage.  I could be way off, but I’m just doing the math to figure out where exactly a nursing room would fit into the layout of the McDonald’s or Arby’s or Burger King building.  For the number of employees that occupy the back space, it doesn’t seem likely that there would be one private room (aside from a restroom) dedicated to employees who need to pump.  And if these mothers don’t have the proper accommodations, how are they able to breastfeed their children, if they so wish, for any extended length of time?  And if they aren’t able to breastfeed their children because their employer doesn’t allocate the basic necessities to them, how is that right?  I am not using the word “fair” because I realize that life isn’t fair… but I’m referring to right and wrong, not fairness. 

So that brings me to my one question:  If you are or know a breastfeeding mother who works at a fast food chain, are there proper accommodations for you to pump at work?  I appreciate any details you are willing to give!

Signing off.

BkB

That's "y'all's" Thing... But Here's My Opinion

 
One of my favorite things is when I can find out how someone really feels about something.  One example is when I got a very sweet and positive-spirited girl on the cross country team to say her first cuss word.  I wasn't necessarily pleased that I "caused her to sin" (as I'm sure some people would consider it that way), but I was happy that she let her guard down for a moment and expressed an otherwise buried emotion.  Her saying that cuss word didn't make me judge her in a negative way, it just showed me that people are more complex than we give them credit for being.  And if she had the ability to say the word, she had to have first had the thought.  

That example brings me to my second example which is my actual point:  Yesterday I had a discussion with a couple of male work associates about breastfeeding.  One of them prefaced the conversation with the "that's y'alls thing/business", and I thought that was the end of it.  Then... the flood gates opened and it turned out he actually had an opinion on the matter!  Not only did he have an opinion, but he had very specific parameters regarding certain subtopics on breastfeeding.  Regardless of whether I actually agreed on his stance, I was elated he had an opinion!  Where did this come from?  I know his wife breastfed her children for a while, but how did he go from the "talk to the hand/that's y'all's thing" gesture to "I think it's strange when children are old enough to ask for a drink [from the breast]"? 

My point is that even though many people (male and female alike) claim they don't have an opinion and don't feel like it is their place to discuss breastfeeding, they do actually have an opinion, if only on a subconscious level.  Breastfeeding women aren't the only people who are affected by breastfeeding, but rather everyone is impacted by breastfeeding.  Even if no one ever saw a breastfeeding mother in public (for example, and heaven forbid, if mothers were only allowed to breastfeed behind closed doors), breastfeeding would still impact everyone, regardless of gender or whether or not someone has children. 

Another thing I did yesterday was send my blog to a targeted group of friends.  To further elaborate on my previous point, one of my friends responded to my blog with very in-depth and passionate thoughts on breastfeeding and various topics stemming from breastfeeding.  I read her response, and then wrote back to her that I was going to take time later and dissect her points one by one when I had more time.  To that I received a frantic phone call from her telling me that she was so sorry for how she responded, and that if she had known it was my blog, she would not have responded the way she did. That gave me a good laugh because it showed me that men and women will both cater the details of their opinion to their audience.  I told her that I couldn't think of one thing she said that offended me, even if I didn't necessarily agree on everything, and that I'm glad she responded the way she did.  I really appreciated all she had to say, even more than she knew, because I could tell that she was very thoughtful on the subject, and that everything she said came out of the goodness in her heart.

Now for the question of the day:  Who do you think should be the ones to decide how employers accommodate breastfeeding mothers?  This is very open-ended, and I intended it that way because I'm really interested in your answers-- especially the ones that are out-of-the-box.

To Jennifer:  In response to your comment to my post from yesterday, THANK YOU.  I agree that we don't need another mother fight.  I do, however, think that certain issues need a good amount of friendly dialogue in order to make a positive impact on the future.  The awesome thing I think the cover of TIME Magazine accomplished is that it made people read the article about attachment parenting.  My blog is about breastfeeding, and the cover of TIME Magazine showed a breastfeeding woman, and that is why I focused on the cover of the magazine, and not the content of the article.  I hope this comes across as a clarification and not a rebuttal!  

Signing off.

BkB

It's About Time (Magazine)

I read a blog post yesterday written by Jason Good.  The post was his take on the recent TIME Magazine cover of the spandex-clad mother nursing her young camo-clad child who is standing on a chair.  I had heard about the cover, but up to that point I hadn't seen it for myself.  Jason's blog prompted me to Google the magazine cover.  (I liked Jason's perspective, by the way)  In my mind the magazine cover would have perhaps a shadowy profile of the woman's face with her baby tenderly nursing close to her, and the baby's face wouldn't be very visible, either.  So, as you can imagine when I saw this cover the shock value was pretty high!  And... I LOVED IT!!!

Regardless of all the reasons why I loved this cover, the main reason is because creates a conversation about breastfeeding.  For attempting to be such a progressive country, we are very behind with regard to the very first human need:  feeding our children. 

I am not a member of La Leche League, but I do empathize with their mission, which is "to help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education, and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother."  I believe that many of us shy away from the subject because we are unsure of where "the line" is for appropriateness.  I'll say this:  you are the only one who knows your own intentions.  However, some people want others to believe they have good intentions, but their regular behavior says otherwise.  If you are a person who truly has good intentions, that will be evident, and people won't feel as uncomfortable having conversations with you that can be awkward at times.  It's kind of like going to visit the "lady doctor".  I wouldn't feel comfortable if Howard Stern was my gynecologist because he just seems inappropriate.  Now, I don't truly know his intentions, because I'm not living in his brain, but I do know the way he behaves on his show and I just wouldn't trust him anywhere near my vulnerable naked lower-half.  At the same time, I have a male doctor (who is a fabulous doctor!), and I feel that he is not a weirdo and that this is just his job to him. 

All that to ask the question:  What do you believe to be the intentions of the mother on the cover of the recent TIME Magazine? My best friend and I had a conversation about it yesterday, and she brought up some good points.  I think I brought up some good points, too, but that's just my opinion and neither here nor there.

Signing off.

BkB


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-good/dad-opinion-time-cover_b_1510352.html?ref=comedy&ir=Comedy

Deep Breaths

Oh my gosh... am I actually doing this?  It seems like only yesterday that I sat next to a work associate and giggled about how I would never blog.... be a blogger... be a blogger... a blogger is as a blogger blogs, right?  The reason it seems like only yesterday is because it actually was only yesterday that I said I would never blog.  And look at me now.  I am a blogger!  It's probably not a good idea to say "never".  (Do you like how I avoided saying "Never say never"?!)

You can ignore that whole first paragraph because the reason it is so jittery is because that is the language of my fingers right now.  I am so nervous.  I have no problem talking (in front of people or out loud to myself when it's warranted) or emailing (yes, I've been that person who accidentally 'replied all'... sorry mother-in-law).  The thing I like about talking or emailing is that I can be selective about who hears/reads it.  But I don't know YOU.  Or YOU.  I don't even know what you could have Googled to find my blog.  It is a huge mystery to me!!!  But one thing I do know is that this is a medium for connection.  You are searching for something (that is why you used Google to begin with... it's a search engine!), and I am searching for something, and that is where we connect.  Initially, anyway.  After that the possibilities are endless.

So you are wondering what this blog is about, aren't you?  You're sitting on the edge of your seat because it looks like just a bunch of random ramblings from a Jello-jiggly-like virtual character.  But you're thinking there must be some substance to all this beating around the bush.  You're hoping there is some substance, anyway.

Well to start with, I'm going to just put this one question out there:  What do you think about breastfeeding?  Perhaps you don't think about it.  Perhaps you weren't breastfed, or you don't even know if you were.  Perhaps you never considered where your first meals came from outside the womb.  Perhaps a woman breastfeeding in a mall or restaurant or in the restroom stall next to you has never prompted one single synapse to fire off in your brain.  If you have never considered it, I am not judging you.  But now that I've planted the seed in your mind, conscious or not, you've formed an opinion.  Now, I challenge you to really think about it and tell me what you think...

That was exhausting.  Signing off. 

BkB